How to be “The Best Manager You Ever Had”

How to be “The Best Manager You Ever Had”

By Martin Z willing

Everyone can recognize a great manager a mile away, so why is it so hard to find one? We all remember a few that are “legends in their own mind”, but that doesn’t do it. In fact, the clue here is that the view in your mind is the only one that matters, rather than the other way around.
 

Almost every one of us in business can also remember that one special manager in their career who exemplifies the norm, who commanded our respect, and treated us like a friend, even in the toughest of personal or business crises.

I’ve asked many for the traits or attributes they saw in that person, and most will list the positive functional traits of a good manager:

• Leadership - outstanding skills in guiding team members, encouraging them towards attainment of the organization’s goals and the right decisions at the right point of time. As Drucker said "management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things."


• Plan and delegate – foresight and skills to understand the relevant capabilities of employees, and then scheduling tasks and delegating to get tasks done by the employees within deadlines.


• Domain expert - complete knowledge of his field and confident about that knowledge, with the common sense to make quick productive decisions and think outside the box.


• Set clear expectations - employees should always know what is expected of them. One of the easiest ways to do this is to set deliverable milestones for each employee over a set period of time. Then review the performance vs. the roadmap or deliverable at least six months prior to a performance review and discuss ways to improve and set new goals.

• Positive recognition - when employees complete something successfully or show initiative, recognize it. Congratulate them on a job well done. Most employees are not motivated by sheer money. They need recognition even if it is not public. Good managers know that employees feed off acknowledgement that their job is being done well.


In my view, these are all “necessary” attributes, but are not “sufficient” to put you in that ‘great’ category. Most people recognize that it takes more to be ‘great,’ but the attributes are a bit more esoteric, and harder to quantify. Here are a few:


• Active listener - shows traits such as listening with feedback, an optimistic attitude, a motivating ability, and a concern for people. Listening to what is said as well as what is not said is of the utmost importance. Instrumental in the listening process is the environment. It can be most demoralizing to an employee to be speaking to a supervisor and be interrupted for a phone call. All interruptions should be avoided.

• Shows empathy - refers to the ability to "walk in another person's shoes", and to have insight into the thoughts, and, more importantly the emotional reactions of individuals faced with change. Empathy requires that you suspend judgment of another's actions or reactions, while you try to understand them, and treat them with sensitivity, respect, concern, and kindness.


• Always honest – simply put, today’s managers live in glass houses. Everything that a manager does is seen by his employees. If a manager says one thing and does another, employees see it. Managers must be honest and straightforward in words and in actions. A manager must “walk the talk.” That also means recognizing weaknesses, and admitting and learning from mistakes.


• Sense of humor - people of all ages and cultures respond to humor. The majority of people are able to be amused, to laugh or smile at something funny, and see an irony. One of the most frequently cited attractions in great personal relationships is a sense of humor.

• Keep your cool - does not lose his/her cool even while facing a difficulty. He/she is able to correct the team members without emotional body language or statements. A good manager is an effective communicator and a composed individual, with a proven tolerance for ambiguity.

Whole books are written on this subject, but hopefully you get the picture. Great managers must do the technical job well – and they also must do the people job very well. Now that you understand these things, I’m not sure why it is so hard to find a great manager. I guess an even harder question I should ask is why is it so hard to be one?


Marty Zwilling, Founder & CEO, Startup Professionals, Inc.

Managing Your Boss

It's not manipulation—it's forging ties based on mutual respect and understanding

byJohn J. Gabarro and John P. Kotter

The Idea in Brief

Managing our bosses? Isn't that merely manipulation? Corporate cozying up? Out-and-out apple polishing? In fact, we manage our bosses for very good reasons: to get resources to do the best job, not only for ourselves, but for our bosses and our companies as well. We actively pursue a healthy and productive working relationship based on mutual respect and understanding—understanding our own and our bosses' strengths, weaknesses, goals, work styles, and needs. Here's what can happen when we don't:

A new president with a formal work style replaced someone who'd been looser, more intuitive. The new president preferred written reports and structured meetings. One of his managers found this too controlling. He seldom sent background information, and was often blindsided by unanticipated questions. His boss found their meetings inefficient and frustrating. The manager had to resign.

In contrast, here's how another manager's sensitivity to this same boss's style really paid off:

This manager identified the kinds and frequency of information the president wanted. He sent ahead background reports and discussion agendas. The result? Highly productive meetings and even more innovative problem solving than with his previous boss.

Managers often don't realize how much their bosses depend on them. They need cooperation, reliability, and honesty from their direct reports. Many managers also don't realize how much they depend on their bosses—for links to the rest of the organization, for setting priorities, and for obtaining critical resources.

Recognizing this mutual dependence, effective managers seek out information about the boss's concerns and are sensitive to his work style. They also understand how their own attitudes toward authority can sabotage the relationship. Some see the boss as the enemy and fight him at every turn; others are overly compliant, viewing the boss as an all-wise parent.

The Idea in Practice

You can benefit from this mutual dependence and develop a very productive relationship with your boss by focusing on:

• compatible work styles. Bosses process information differently. "Listeners" prefer to be briefed in person so they can ask questions. "Readers" want to process written information first, and then meet to discuss.

Decision-making styles also vary. Some bosses are highly involved. Touch base with them frequently. Others prefer to delegate. Inform them about important decisions you've already made.

• mutual expectations. Don't passively assume you know what the boss expects. Find out. With some bosses, write detailed outlines of your work for their approval. With others, carefully planned discussions are key.

Also, communicate your expectations to find out if they are realistic. Persuade the boss to accept the most important ones.

• information flow. Managers typically underestimate what their bosses need to know—and what they do know. Keep the boss informed through processes that fit his style. Be forthright about both good and bad news.

• dependability and honesty. Trustworthy subordinates only make promises they can keep and don't shade the truth or play down difficult issues.

• good use of time and resources. Don't waste your boss's time with trivial issues. Selectively draw on his time and resources to meet the most important goals—yours, his, and the company's.

By Harvard Business —Where Leaders Get Their Edge

How to Give and Receive Criticism

Constructive criticism goes far beyond the crass insults so prevalent in today's media. Here's how to make the most of it.

by Bruce Weinstein, PhD

We live in an age where the line between criticism and nastiness has blurred. I'm not sure how this happened or when it began, but there are signs of it everywhere, especially on the Internet and in the media. The Internet offers anonymity, distance, and the ability to say pretty much whatever we want about people. Nastiness masked as criticism is a staple of television and radio, whether it's Gordon Ramsay hurling invective at restaurant workers on his Kitchen Nightmares show, Simon Cowell coming up with ever more creative ways of informing American Idol contestants that they have no talent, or talk show hosts making snide comments about a politician's appearance. Our appetite for seeing other people criticized appears to know no bounds.

I'm sure you've personally encountered this kind of behavior. You've probably had a boss or colleague who took perverse pride in reminding you of your shortcomings. Maybe you yourself have been guilty of treating someone this way. How we give and receive criticism speaks volumes about our character, so this column is an appropriate venue for considering better and worse ways of criticizing people and how we ought to respond when someone finds fault with our own work.

What Is Criticism, Anyway?

Being taken to task for something we've said or done suggests that we're fallible, and who wants to admit that he or she is flawed? If we don't have high self-esteem, criticism validates our already low opinion of ourselves. If we're strong and self-confident, criticism might surprise us with an unflattering view of ourselves. Regardless of how one feels about oneself, it seems criticism is something that any reasonable person wishes to avoid.

However the goal of true criticism is to help someone be the best they can be. It is not about making someone feel bad, instilling guilt, or reducing a person to tears, though all of these can be an unfortunate byproduct. When criticism is done appropriately, the person who has been criticized will understand what he or she has done wrong and will feel inspired to make a change for the better. Not only should we not avoid being criticized, we should embrace criticism because it is the only way we can continue to grow professionally and personally.

Criticism Should Recognize the Good in Others

Think about the full, rich life you've led thus far. You have enjoyed many professional and personal successes. You have been kind and generous to people. You have done lots of wonderful things that make it easy to like what you see when you look in the mirror.

Now think about some of the less noble choices you've made. You've cheated. You've lied. You intentionally hurt someone's feelings and refused to apologize. In other words, you have been—on occasion—all too human. We all have. Wouldn't it be unfair for you to be reduced to nothing more than the sum of your poor choices? Wouldn't you resent having your many praiseworthy actions forgotten about when someone is troubled by something you've done? Of course you would, and you would be justified in feeling this way. Anyone who has lived beyond the age of three or four will have tallied up at least a few disgraceful decisions, but to be seen as nothing more than those bad decisions just isn't right.

Criticism should include an acknowledgment of what the other person has done well, as well as an account of what he or she has not.

Criticism Should Not Be Personal

It's easy to criticize the person rather than his or her ideas, but just because we can do something doesn't mean that we should. The Internet in particular is rife with personal attacks posing as criticism. For example, a person identifying himself as "peter" responded to my column on the ethics of office gambling by posting: "Shut up, you're such a baby!" Grammatical problems aside, "peter" said nothing at all about the point I was making.

Responding to the same column, "cp" wrote:

I really can't believe this guy has a PhD and is wasting his time writing a column like this. I guess a PhD makes him smarter than me and I really didn't know until a smart person like him pointed this out to me. Sounds to me someone needs to go out and make some friends to learn what it is like to be a NORMAL person.

Well, I may have been completely mistaken in arguing against betting at the office, but both "peter" and "cp" missed an opportunity to explain why this was so.

The only meaningful criticism about a person's ideas focuses on the soundness or validity of that person's argument rather than his or her personal characteristics. This means we must consider the truth of the claims in the argument and whether the conclusion logically follows from the premise. Anything else isn't criticism at all, but merely an attempt by the critic to blow off steam, get some attention, transfer his or her frustrations to someone else, or any number of other irrelevant issues.

Why It's In Our Own Interest to Acknowledge Criticism

What should we do when someone criticizes us? As long as the criticism isn't petty, vicious, personal, or otherwise way off base, we should take it to heart. It's only by carefully considering what a critic has to say that we're able to become better. Of course it's hard to do this, since we need to have both self-confidence and humility to acknowledge that we may be misguided. It's understandable that our first reaction to criticism is a refusal to consider the critic's points. Nevertheless even the most expert among us can have room for improvement. We can't maintain excellence or hope to improve if we refuse to work on ourselves, which means, in part, taking criticism seriously.

The Rules of Fair Play

When you want to criticize someone:

1. Begin by finding something you like or appreciate about the person you're about to criticize. This is not only fair, but will also make the person more likely to be receptive to what you have to say.

2. Focus on what that person has said or done, not on him or her personally. Only the former is relevant and likely to be acknowledged.

3. Conclude by affirming your faith that the other person will consider what you have to say. This is both a respectful way to wrap up the criticism and the best way to ensure that your remarks will be given their due.

When someone criticizes you:

1. Resist the urge to dismiss the critic. Considering what the person has to say will only strengthen your own understanding of the issue you care about.

2. Recognize that you may not be right. You may be unaware of one or more of the facts relevant to your argument, or you may have ignored some of the rules or principles at stake.

3. Realize that ad hominem attacks say more about the person making them than about you. Rather than sink to the level of such attacks, it's wise to ignore them.

Our goal in life can be to bring out the best in others and ourselves, or it can be to puff up our own egos and debase others by exploiting our power over them. If the former is our mission, we would do well to give criticism respectfully and receive it graciously whenever it is offered in good faith.

Weinstein is the corporate consultant, author, and public speaker known as The Ethics Guy. He has appeared on numerous national TV shows and is the author of several books on ethics.